What do you really need for a “newborn starter kit”?
by Paul FischerPlease comment here and let me know what I should be focusing on for our baby registry. Babies R Us and Target have huge lists of things, and most people on Twitter are saying I don’t really need it. I would appreciate it if you could give us some new parent advice on what we really need.
blankets and blankets and then blankets
a portable changing table, good for around the house as well as travel
more outfits than you think you’ll ever think you’ll need (in case you get a spitter, first born spit up EVERY single bottle, i should know, i was primary caregiver for him)
lots and lots of small pads/clothes/clothe diaper to use for “burping”
carrier and carseat and highchair (won’t use right away) and babyswing (a must)
can’t remember what else, youngest is 13
good luck and congrats
Thomas
Since it’s a winter baby I would get a Sleep Sack and/or a Sleep Sack Swaddle blanket.
Lots of onsies and it’s ok if they are a little big you can use them for more months that way.
A couple different brands of pacifiers. Breast feeding pros will say not to use them for the first 3 weeks but my experience is that if the baby is latching well you can use them almost right a way. If the baby takes it they can be a sanity and sleep saver.
A couple different brands of bottles and formula. Even if mom plans to breast feed you may change your mind at 2am when baby is more hungry than what mom can produce. Have it as an option in case you are at your wits end.
Cloth diapers work great for burp rags. They are not pretty but work well for every day around the house use.
Nice stretchy blanket for swaddling.
DON’T get the baby wipes warmer. It’s a wast of money, a big hassle and a warm wet breeding ground for bacteria.
That’s all off the top of my head but I’m sure I’ll think of more and get back to you.
Well, Paul, we’re three months in, so let me tell you what we’ve found.
To start – pay close attention to Target’s return policy. Namely, without a receipt (and we had plenty of gifts without a receipt), you only get two returns per year (per person) valued up to $20. We got a great 3-piece outfit set in one size too small. We couldn’t exchange for the same set in one size up without being capped by that rule. Because of that, we won’t go back to Target. I’m not saying it’s a deal-breaker, but be forewarned and maybe check to see if your local store has a different policy.
Secondly, be sure to check out the blog BabyCheapskate.com. My wife has made it a job or hobby (I don’t rightly know which) to save us money on buying baby items. Using information from that site, she has averaged spending $0.13/diaper versus an average of $0.19/diaper or so. Regardless if you’re looking to do disposable diapers or not, it’s just a way to save some moolah. Also, my wife has carefully watched sales for big items like car seats; for example, the historic trends indicate they go on sale in September and February. It’s good stuff to know.
We did a lot of in-person looking at Babies’R’Us. We found a few other stores – particular those that sold baby furniture – to do in-person evaluation of items. We did a lot of shopping at Amazon.com and BabyCenter.com. To be fair, we did have a Target registry. It was only later that we were turned off by Target.
This is a bit of a repeat to what I said on Twitter, but here’s what we found critical:
– Car Seat – we really love the Graco SnugRide because it integrates with the stroller and we can bring our son into the house still in the carseat, making it easier to keep him asleep.
– Stroller – we have the Graco Quattro Tour because it combines with the car seat.
– Crib – we went with the Da Vinci Kalani crib. It was really hard to pick a crib that we thought we could afford and that we thought was high enough quality. We didn’t need one that would convert to a double bed, but the concept is nice for the future.
– Glider/Rocking Chair – we spent an hour or two in Babies’R’Us checking out different chairs. In the end, we bought a Shermag Oak Glider with Ottoman. It’s great at any time of day, but particularly in the middle of the night, to sit in and rock with the baby. This was one of the most strongly recommended items and we love it.
– Diapers and Wipes – we’ve tried all kinds, predominately in the big three brands: Pampers, Huggies, and Luvs. My wife had purchased between 1000 and 1500 diapers in sizes N through 3 before our child was even born. She kept finding deals, especially at CVS, that made it worthwhile to stock up. As a note, we have not bought a wipe warmer and haven’t seen any detrimental issues without one.
– Diaper bag – Check Babies’R’Us for a wide variety, many marked on clearance. If it makes a difference, choose one that the dad will like to carry. Another great option that we really liked was the Sherpani Lena diaper bag, but it was too pricey.
– Hand sanitizer – it just comes in handy on the changing table and a travel size for the diaper bag.
– Waterproof cloths/sheet protectors – whatever it is to keep liquids from soaking into the sheets. Sure, the mattress we bought is also waterproof, but it’s really nice to just change out a small “cloth” instead of everything in the crib… especially at three in the morning.
– Foam earplugs – there are times you really just need to dampen the noises. Yes, I’m very serious.
– Pack’n’play – with our lifestyle of traveling a lot, we really needed a pack’n’play. I thought we didn’t need one, but in a hotel room, relative’s house, or eventually a tent, we need a safe place to put our child for the night. Still, we didn’t go crazy with it, we got the smallest and lightest one we could find, the $60 Graco Pack’n’Play.
Not Critical, but Next In Line:
– Bouncy seat – I didn’t think this was necessary. However, it keeps the baby happy and nicely lets him sit next to us at the dinner table.
– Swing – another thing I didn’t think was necessary. But at three this morning, it was the only thing that I could use to keep him asleep.
– Baby sling – I really resisted, thinking it wasn’t necessary. In the end, however, we go plenty of places that a stroller just isn’t practical. The Baby Bjorn sling works like a charm and I love it. Be sure to try the sling on, preferably with your baby in it, to see which one is going to fit you and your spouse comfortably, especially in the lower back. Don’t go cheap because it’ll be too uncomfortable to use.
– Play mat – our son spends 30-40% of his awake time on his play mat. The biggest issue is get one that is plenty big. We had one given to us that our son outgrew within two months. We’ve since upgraded to the Fisher-Price Rainforest Melodies & Lights Deluxe Gym and love it.
– Changing Table that converts to a dresser – well, just something that you can use to easily change the baby. Not critical, but a serious “nice to have.”
– Large receiving blankets – when you want to swaddle your baby, size is your friend. We found we like the Circo thermal receiving blankets.
Not Critical (based on my experience):
– Cradle – personally, we wanted our child to not sleep in our room. Recently on vacation that point was validated to us, since every noise he made woke us up throughout the nights. So, the cradle that was given to us just holds blankets and other stuff.
– White onesies – there are plenty of cute outfits that work just as well.
Other notes:
– If you buy a breast pump, don’t skimp. Honestly, I can’t say what happens if you do skimp, but this is the advice we were given and we’ve been glad we followed it. Take a minute to look at the quality of each model side-by-side and I think you’ll agree.
– We’ve been very happy with Playtex VentAire bottles. I don’t see a lot of problems with spitup with these. The design makes good sense to me too.
– Cloth diapers make fantastic burp rags. The other burp rags we have just don’t work as well.
– As for clothes, 1) Ask for hand-me-downs, 2) Shop garage sales and thrift stores, 3) Shop the clearance racks at the department stores, and 4) Rarely, if ever, pay full price for any clothes
– We bought the “next size up” car seat before our son was ready for it because we got a good deal on a great model. We found the Britax Marathon on sale and snatched one up. Apparently it works for 5-60lbs, but I wouldn’t trade the Graco SnugRide for as long as it will last.
– Check out the book/DVD “Happiest Baby on the Block.” Do this preferably before the birth of your child. This really helps cut down on the crying spells, which helps you retain your sanity.
Three books we whole-heartedly recommend:
– “What to Expect” series (ISBN: 0761148574) – a good set of reference manuals.
– “BabyWise” (ISBN: 1932740082) – this is a short book that is easy to read, albeit a bit repetitive. This meshed with our ideas on being parents and helped give us a flexible regimen for raising our newborn. As with any parenting philosophy book, you may find a different philosophy that resonates with you more, but we really think highly of this book.
– “Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads” (ISBN: 0743251547) – For any dad to be, this is the bare minimum one book I would recommend. It’s written in a humorous, yet accurate and informative, manner, making it easy to read, understand, and retain. Most other books just didn’t connect to me, but this one really is a practical handbook.
Please feel free to email me with more questions. I’m very happy to help!
From @kamikat via Twitter
@pfischer carseat, stroller, Baby Bjorn or Maya Wrap, crib, diapers, bottles, clothing. everything else is nice to have but not necessary plus there’s stuff that you don’t need right away, but might need later, high chair, playpen (I never used mine), toys
From @trreed via Twitter:
@pfischer shannon’s list was EXCELENT!! just add blankets, even down here in TEXAS, never had enough blankets, baby kind, ya know,
Paul:
Having this baby is going to be the most exciting, fun, teaching, learning, agonizing, painful, and exasperating experience you will ever have.
I see that most of the posters have covered practical aspects of clothes [buy larger sizes ’cause they grow like weeds], books [I learned more from asking other parents], and other baby amenities [most of which were as much of a burden as a help]. What I’m not seeing a lot of is Parent bootcamp 101 for those new from the hospital moments.
First off, put baby on a schedule. The hospital will and you would be wise to maintain that. As one wise parent told me, “Someone is going to be on a schedule and if you ever want to sleep thru the night again it had better not be you.” So remember to not give in to the new parent smell/feel and rush to baby’s side whenever they summons.
Second, the home nurse in England gave me the best advice that I ever heard: “Sometimes they just need to cry.” Remember that baby at this age won’t get exercise and crying develops their lungs and helps them get some exercise. So learn to check them for wetness, safety pins, health hazards, hunger, and gas and then Walk Away. Close the door. Put a pillow over your ears. Etc. They won’t die. They will certainly get their exercise, and you won’t get exasperated. That nurse definitely knew what she was talking about and it saved me the first 6 months of EP’s home time.
Third, don’t be afraid to hand baby around. Get them as much “other people time” as possible. This way when you have to hand them off, they don’t become unmanageable.
Fourth, treasure your time alone. Enjoy the time you have with baby but learn to be greedy for those moments when baby is asleep. It is necessary to the family’s health and happiness and you will need the time to sleep anyway.
Fifth, and my final bit of wisdom, is find a babysitter and a back up babysitter before baby is even home from hospital. There will be days where being a parent is rough and you just get “THAT” frustrated. Probably not for a while with the new baby smell but it will happen. Have that as your Rip Cord and don’t be embarrassed to use it.
And of course, never forget that you’ve wanted this for a long time 🙂 Sometimes sanity is preserved by that thought.
Lots of luck,
Allie
I’d like to say to get plenty of sleepers. You’re having a cold weather baby. Onesies just don’t cover it. Plus, I found I couldn’t stand the things. My boys were born in September and October and they lived in sleepers through the winter. 🙂
There are some ideas in here I also agree on. Major kudos on cloth diapers for burp rags. You get some cutesie ones. You gotta have them. Stick them in the diaper bag. But seriously, three packs of diapers and you are good to go. You won’t run out. And the pack and play? Priceless. I still have mine. I refuse to give it up. Those and my slings. They are the best. I highly recommend getting these items. You can make do without a rocker. You can live without a changing table. You need cloth diapers and a pack and play and a sling. They rank up there with car seat.
As far as a cradle goes, that’s your choice. What kind of parent are you going to be? Attachment parent? Forget it. You’ll never use it. Waste of money. Frugal parent? Forget it, costs too much and a laundry basket works the same for a fraction the cost. Babies fit in a dresser drawer or a laundry basket super easy. Sounds crazy in modern society, but it really does work and is still done in many families. Modern parents that want to spare no expense? Go for it. One more thing in the nursery! No matter what you choose to do, it will be the right decision. I didn’t have a cradle for Caramon but took my SIL’s bassinet since I’d gotten rid of the crib for Joram. I ended up not liking the bassinet very much at all. So, I didn’t use it. Thank goodness I didn’t buy it!
Good luck!
[…] a survival kit for new parents. We go through the comments left on Paul Fischer’s blog asking What do you really need for a “newborn starter kit”? As always, we talk a lot. So in this episode we hit the highlights of the comments made on his […]
Mean Mommies Club expanded on this question. We did a two part episode on “New baby Survival Kit” Part one is up and it’s primaraly a discussion of the responses above. http://www.MeanMommiesClub.com
In Part 2 we put the question out to our mommy friends and discussed the responses they sent in. Part 2 should be out next week.
[…] on a survival kit for new parents. This topic was started by Paul Fischer’s blog which asked What do you really need for a “newborn starter kit”? As always, we talk a lot. So in we hit the highlights of the comments made on his post, adding […]
[…] What do you really need for a “newborn starter kit”? – You really need to read the comments on this one. Listen to the podcasts in the later comments from the Mean Mommy’s Club. Hopefully their archives are still online. Watch this TED talk: Let’s talk parenting taboos: Rufus Griscom + Alisa Volkman – TED.com […]